The Destruction of Morality
by tremblingsniper
Summary: BORDERLINE M. Cipher Nine has been known to use seduction to get what she wants, but one encounter begins to break down the carefully placed walls in her mind. This is just a small head canon after encountering Jordel Tlan on Nar Shaddaa, very minimal spoilers.


Heat. The underlying desire to have what shouldn't be yours. The intense disgust over having allowed a such a man to touch you for the sake of information. Cipher Nine filtered these thoughts through her head before she pried herself off of the couch. The intense desire to leave filled her every sense, and her stomach was tight as she promptly clothed herself. Her arms refused to cooperate, her forearms and hands shaking too badly to find their way into her long overcoat. She didn't spare a backwards glance at the man still laying on the couch as she managed her coat on.

"Thank you for coming by," she heard him say, "I appreciate the reminder of what...flesh can do."

_And I appreciate the reminder of how sick I've become, Jordel._

He told her to be on her way, and she didn't let the opportunity pass her by as she slung her sniper rifle over her shoulder and stalked out of the lounge. After a quick holocall from Watcher X, she worked her way through the cantina, looking for Kaliyo at all the bars. She wasn't there, but outside: arms crossed and leaning against one of the the dark walls. Cipher knew the questions, or perhaps the torment, that would soon come spewing from the Rattataki's lips, but surprisingly the woman said nothing. She instead opted to snuff out her cigarra and follow the Agent into the taxi.

Once they were speeding through the thick Nar Shaddaa air, Cipher allowed herself to take a deep breath and run a hand through her short hair. Air. That was what she needed. That was what would clear her mind and remove the memories of _him._

"Gotta hand it to you," _Oh, here we go_, "I didn't think you'd actually let the big creep get it in. You really dedicate yourself to your work," Kaliyo said with a smirk.

Cipher sighed as she took another deep breath, the familiar feeling of a man's mark still pooling within her, "I don't think there's any way to work for Intelligence without allowing your morals to be violated every now and again," she settled.

Kaliyo let out an easy laugh, "Especially when those morals include a nice long orgasm."

The Agent's eyes flashed to the Rattataki beside her, "I did _not._"

"Oh? Big boy was a big dissapointment? That's too bad, you could've just killed him."

She could've, and probably should've, but she didn't. Air didn't help. What she wanted—no—needed was a hard drink to forget the feel of Jordel. Cipher let out a sad laugh before shrugging her shoulders, "I've found that sex gets things done much faster."

"I guess you're right, you had him wrapped around those pretty long fingers of yours the second you spoke. Can't blame you, but I would've backed out once I got what I wanted. Not my type."

"I don't think he's anyone's type."

"He's rich though, right?" Kaliyo mused, "Maybe I could...for the right price of course. What exactly did you two do? Because I got a good look at his hands and—"

"Can we please talk about something else?" Cipher interrupted.

"What? Sure he's a big creep, but don't act like you haven't fracked worse."

Kaliyo probably couldn't have said anything worse if she tried. Yes, Cipher had been with many men, more than she could possibly remember and more for her job than for anything else. The difference between fracking a man and making love had never been lost on her, but most of the time she allowed herself to pretend it was. There was that one boy when she was still in training. He snuck out with her and promised that he loved her. And then one night she allowed him to take her and things were never the same. He avoided her and excused himself with the priority of training, and maybe it was that she loved him, as much as somebody can love for the first time. Once it was clear that they would never have the life they promised each other she learned to control her emotions, never allowing them to interfere with her work again.

Then there was the the time she had gone undercover on Alderaan. It was one of her first jobs and her identity had been found out by a guard of House Organa. She had thought her career and the promise of its future was over until he offered to keep her secret...for a price. She was more than willing, leading him to her bedroom and kissing him as though she loved him. She realized how easily she could get what she wanted. Cipher never regretted it.

But again, the difference hadn't been lost on her. More recently Dheno Rey and Sanju Pyne were like day and night to her. It wasn't that she hadn't had any fun with Dheno, she even enjoyed it and came hard around him, but it didn't mean anything. It was purely for the sake of getting him off her back, though not quite literally. But when Sanju caressed her with the promise of love just for one night, she had felt like a real person again. A person allowed to be herself and display her emotions. A person who could fall in love again, even if it wasn't with him.

She hadn't even considered it before, how twisted it was to sleep with a man to get what you want from him. She didn't consider it until she was crushed under the weight of Jordel Tlan and wishing that she had indeed killed him instead. The fact that Watcher X had been watching the whole time certainly didn't help any, and the idea that Jordel was satisfied and would remember her later absolutely soured her stomach. At that moment it hadn't been a job, it had felt wrong and dirty and she didn't know why it was so different from all the other men.

So she laughed. It was a bitter, distracted laugh, "No, I don't think I've fracked worse."


End file.
